Wherever He Leads Me By Helen S. Liu

There are a few unforgettable memories that deserve notice during my study at the Baptist seminary. At one of the services, Pastor Shiguang Zhao made a powerful statement. If a theological student has not received a clear call from God, then his/her services are fruitless. His remarks shocked me. Did God call on me to serve Him full-time?

Soon, it was Easter and President Culpeper led all the students and teachers in fasting and prayer at the Baptist Retreat Camp in Lingtou. President Culpeper asked each of us to find a quiet place to be close to God and to also ask God for answers to our spiritual questions. I prayed from early morning until noon, asking God the same question: Had He called me to serve Him full-time or was it only out of my own enthusiasm? I further said to God, “If You had not called on me to serve You full-time, I will quit from the seminary and go home and be a good Christian. I will lead people to believe in God as a regular Christian. Please, God, give me a clear response and guidance.” After I finished praying, I opened the Bible. I wanted to see what message God was going to give to me. I never tried this method before and have never tried it since. It was indeed a miracle. The page I turned to was Isaiah 43:3: “But now, this is what the Lord says—He who created you, O Jacob, He who formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God.”

At that time, I wasn’t very familiar with the Old Testament. It seemed it was the first time I had ever read this passage. God had answered my question directly: “I have summoned you by name.” It seemed to me I had met the Heavenly Father face to face. Not only had He called on me, He also promised to be with me. Consequently, it stayed with me throughout the later years of doing God’s work. Whenever I felt disheartened in the face of difficulties or obstacles, I would review this biblical passage and I would be instantly refreshed and strengthened. Our Heavenly Father never breaks His promises. I am now at the age of 82 and have been doing God’s work for several decades. Exactly as I had been promised, the water has never swept over me nor has the fire ever set me ablaze. The love from our Heavenly Father is engraved at the very bottom of my heart and will never be forgotten.

Another miraculous experience was being filled with the Holy Spirit. While I studied in the Baptist seminary, I had a strong sense of spiritual starvation. I was frustrated with the lack of power in my services. During that time, a special speaker came to our campus. He was giving a two-week long workshop. Every Tuesday morning, he spoke on the subject of “Spiritual Fullness.” His messages awoke a thirsty heart inside me. He cited from the Bible in telling us how we could be filled with the Holy Spirit. To be filled, we must:

1. Have a desiring heart: “On the last and greatest day of the Feast, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, ‘If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink. Whoever believes in Me, as the Scriptures has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.’ By this He meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were later to receive” (John 7:37-39).

2. Pray and ask: “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you” (John 7:7)

3. Confess and repent under the influence of the Holy Spirit: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). While we were confessing, we must list our sins one by one and actually repent them.

4. Deal with our sins: “As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead” (James 2: 26).

5. Offer ourselves totally to the altar: “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship” (Romans 12:1).

6. Accept God’s promised reward with faith: “Therefore, I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it and it will be yours” (Mark 11:24).

When I was a seminary student, I was an intern at the Huaining Street Baptist Church. One morning, I went to the church alone and eagerly prayed for God to fill me with the Holy Spirit. I asked God to shed light on my life and inner world, so I could see if there was any filth or hidden sin inside. Under the inspiration from the Holy Spirit, I listed the sins, one by one, and repented them to the Lord. I asked Him to cleanse me with His holy blood. Then I said to the Lord, “Lord, I will do whatever You ask me to do.” As soon as I finished saying that, a sense of fear crept into my heart. What if the Lord asked me to witness in Africa? No doubt I would go. Even so, the Lord did not ask me to do this. Instead, He sent a message to me that I should send a letter to each of the three professors in the seminary with the confession of my sins. Since every one of those three professors regarded me with high expectations, it was almost impossible for me. I had a very high sense of self-dignity at the time. It was very hard to write letters confessing my sins. However, God was purposely trying to have me deal with my weaknesses. After a long time of inner struggle, I wrote the three letters. Gathering all my courage, I sent them out immediately so I wouldn’t have a chance to change my mind. After the letters were sent out, I again got down on my knees to pray. With faith, I waited for the Holy Spirit to fill my heart. During my prayer, it suddenly came to my mind that the Creator of the universe was my Father. My heart was instantly filled with joy. I could not help but burst out laughing. Luckily, there was no one else at church. It was at that moment, when I truly experienced the fullness of the Holy Spirit.

After I was filled with the Holy Spirit, I became very sensitive to sins. I dared not to commit any sins, because I knew I would have to deal with them afterwards. The very thought would send shivers down my spine. Dr. Culpeper had similar experiences with sin. He was studying at Baylor University in Waco, Texas, where he worked in the school’s dining hall. One day, a customer left behind $10 after a meal. Pastor Culpeper picked up the money and kept it. He was waiting to give it back to the customer when he or she returned. The customer never came back for the money though. Just then, Pastor Culpeper’s sister died and he was asked to return home. He used $6 for his travel expenses. Many years later, Pastor Culpeper went on to get his doctorate in theology and became a fulltime missionary. He was sent to Shandong Province of China by the Foreign Missionary Board of the American Southern Baptist Convention. In Shandong, he was in his pursuit for the filling of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit shone upon him and revealed his sin of theft and demanded he deal with it. After a long inner struggle, he wrote a letter to the president of Baylor University. He returned the money to the university. Even more, he asked the president to revoke his degree. The president accepted his repentance, but kept his degree.

Dr. Culpeper was filled with the Holy Spirit. God used him greatly during the revival period of Shandong. Despite the fact he wasn’t eloquent in Chinese and had a Shandong accent, his preaching was very inspiring. One time, as soon as he finished reading Psalm 32:1: “Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered,” some of the audience started to repent! Another time, he was preaching and a Communist member came to the service. He had a bomb and was going to blow up the meeting place. But, right in the middle of the service, he suddenly fell to the ground unconscious! When Pastor Culpeper prayed for him, he woke up. He began to confess his sins. He handed over the bomb and became a Christian, willing to follow the Lord.

Mrs. Culpeper also experienced the miracles of God. While serving in Shandong, she felt some discomfort in her eyes. She went to the Xiehe Hospital in Beijing for an examination. Xiehe was the number one hospital in China. The diagnosis showed that her eyes were going blind soon. Mrs. Culpeper felt very scared because she was concerned she would become a burden for her husband if she lost her sight. Just at that time, she heard there was a woman missionary who had the gift of healing and she sent for the woman missionary to come and pray for her recovery. Meanwhile, she also asked a few pastors of the Baptist church to come and pray for her. Before they prayed, they confessed their sins. She placed her glasses on a table and the others gathered around her, kneeling and praying for her. After they got up, her eyes were completely healed! Even her glasses were no longer needed. Years later, she was teaching piano classes to the students in the Taiwan Baptist Seminary.

While I was still in the Baptist Seminary, I received an invitation from the Women’s Department of the World Baptist Alliance Association. I was invited to participate in the World Baptist Convention in Brazil, where I was asked to give my testimony before the Lord. My travel expenses to and from the site in Rio de Janeiro would be paid by the organizers. As far as I know, I was the only one among several hundred senior pastors who represented the Taiwan Baptist Convention who was invited with all the fees paid. The Taiwan Baptist Convention had to pay their travel expenses to send them. Looking back, I believe I obeyed God’s call in giving up the scholarship to study in the U.S. and by dedicating myself to the preaching of the Gospel. God blessed me with another chance to go to the U.S.

I traveled to the World Baptist Convention with Pastor Chow’s wife, Mrs. Chow Ruan Xyunyao. We flew via Japan, the U.S., Peru, and eventually arrived at the capital of Brazil. There, I met a Christian brother by the name of Jieyuan Liu. Mrs. Chow and I went to the Chinese Baptist Church where Mr. Liu served to bear witness to the Lord. After that meeting, Mrs. Chow went back to Taiwan while I went to visit Miss Bertha Smith in South Carolina for a short while. I went to several churches with her to bear witness before the Lord. I spoke in Chinese and Miss Smith translated it into English. From South Carolina, I went to New York to visit my brother-in-law. I stayed in the YWCA in New York.

While I was in New York, I received a letter from Miss Martha Franks at the Taiwan Baptist Seminary. I was told not to go back to Taiwan yet. She was in the process of making me an applicant to the Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, Texas. I was to study Religious Education. It was planned that I would return to teach in the seminary when I received my degree. I felt uneasy about this arrangement though. I wasn’t prepared at all for studying in the U.S. before I left Taiwan. While reading the Bible, God gave me an answer: “The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms” (Deut. 33:27). This gave me a great relief. In mid-September, I started my studies as planned at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.

During the first semester of my study at Southwestern Seminary, I had a personal taste of a Christian life “based on faith.” This experience was really precious. My study at Southwestern Seminary was not in the itinerary of my original trip. Therefore, my family did not prepare for any such expenses. I brought only a small amount of money. When I wrote to my husband to tell him I was going to study in the U.S., he thought I had already obtained a scholarship from the seminary. Miss Franks obtained some funds from a women’s organization from a certain South Carolina Baptist Church. This was only enough for my tuition. Miss Franks thought that since I came from a wealthy family, I should have no problems living in the U.S. Even if I was short on money, I could ask my family or friends in the U.S. for help. I could have done exactly that. Nevertheless, I had another plan. I had read quite a few missionary autobiographies. They had all looked up to God for their life’s necessities by faith alone. So, I wanted to have such a personal experience of a life provided with all its needs by God. Looking up to God, I wanted an experience that would further strengthen my faith in Him.

Shortly after school started, I used up all of my traveling funds. I put up a poster that said, “Typewriter for Sale.” I wished to get enough money for living expenses out if its sale. However, I was greatly disappointed. There wasn’t a single response for the first two days. I remember that one day, I had to go back to the dorm with an empty stomach because I had no money to buy food from the dining hall. Yet, when I reached the dorms, I saw two boxes of chicken sandwiches. There was a note; it said, “Free! Please help yourself.” I picked up a few and went back to my dorm. Fortunately, with the sandwiches, some Chinese preserved pork, and beef jerky, I passed the next two days without starving. By the time I finished all the sandwiches, the typewriter was sold. With over ten dollars in my pocket, food was not a concern for me for the time being.

When the winter vacation came, the dorms and the dining hall were closed. All the students went back home. I was worried and didn’t know what to do. God had everything prepared though. The student Bible study group from the Dallas Chinese Church was holding a winter retreat. I was invited to be the speaker at the meetings. My problem of food and board was solved again. One Sunday, the Chairman announced that no meal would be served after the service because everyone was to go down into town and buy his or her own lunch.

After we arrived at the restaurant, everyone ordered dishes, but I was totally at a loss because I had no money with me. I would be lying if I tried to say I was “fasting.” Just at that time, a passage from the Bible came to my mind, “Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame” (Psalm 34:5). So, I sat there and looked upon God and a miracle happened. A well-dressed lady walked over to me and asked if I could do her a favor. I asked her what it was. She replied that she had ordered an entire meal to treat her mother-in-law and her friends. Her mother-in-law was in the winter meeting and had asked her to invite me to eat with them. I was even going to sit at the place of honor. I accepted with pleasure. There was an extravagant table, full of food and wine. That lady was a doctor and she was very rich. Sitting there, I almost shed tears of my gratitude. I silently said to God, “Heavenly Father, You know that Your child is penniless and You have prepared for me such a rich banquet. Today I learned firsthand that those who look upon God, their faces are never covered with shame.” Returning from the meeting, I received a sum of money from my brother-in-law in New York.

I learned a great deal from studying in the Department of Religious Education at Southwestern Seminary. But, it was not my area of interest after all. Even more, I felt I didn’t have the gift of teaching. I soon wrote a letter to Miss Franks and told her I did not want to continue my studies. I booked a flight and was prepared to return to Taiwan. I only had four dollars left after I bought the plane ticket. At the same time, Pastor Youzhi Tang was studying for his doctorate degree at the Golden Gate Baptist Seminary in California. When he learned I was on my way back to Taiwan via San Francisco, he invited me to visit at the seminary. I stayed at the women’s dorms for two nights. I thought it was free, but I was brought a bill for three dollars and a few cents. I was secretly thankful the bill wasn’t four dollars, which would have given me much embarrassment. After I paid the bill, I was left penniless. Fortunately, a Chinese church member took me to the airport and helped me through all the paperwork for departure. I safely boarded the plane. At that time there still wasn’t a direct flight from the U.S. to Taiwan, so I had to change flights in Tokyo, Japan. Luckily, I had an old friend, Bangyan Liu, at the Chinese Consulate in Tokyo. He and his wife went to the airport to pick me up. I spent one night at their home and returned to Taipei the next day.

I kept that episode as a secret in my heart from Miss Franks and my family. Many years later, I made it public in one of my testimonies. I cherish that experience deeply, for the simple reason that my God, my Heavenly Father, is real and living. Those who look to Him are radiant and their faces will never be covered with shame.

Internship at the Baptist Church on Huaining Street

From my previous stories, you may have figured ou I hadn’t really lived any real church life since I became a Christian. I merely attended Sunday church services every week. After I entered seminary, I was assigned as an intern to the Huaining Street Baptist Church. I was there to help Miss Bertha Smith in her pioneer missionary work.

The Huaining Street Baptist Church was, in reality, a room allocated from the office in the Taiwan Branch of the American Southern Baptist Convention Foreign Mission Board and was used for meetings. There were more than a dozen long benches, an altar and an old organ that Miss Smith had for years. There weren’t any basic church members, nor was there any support from the home church. The home church was the Taipei ZhenKwan Baptist Church. The work was indeed pioneer in nature.

Miss Smith was really an apostle greatly used by God and a missionary to the mainland of China. After the communists took over, the missionaries gradually retreated. Miss Smith was the first missionary sent to Taiwan by the Southern Baptist and Peixing Chang, a Christian brother, worked together with her, although he wasn’t a pastor yet at the time. She and brother Chang started the Taipei JenAi Baptist Church. She went on to establish the Taipei Xiamen Baptist Street Church. Then later, in the central part of Taiwan, she established the Taichung Freedom Road Church Baptist, and in the south, the Tainan Fuqian Street Baptist Church. At the same time, she also taught an Old Testament course in the seminary. The Taipei Huaining Street Baptist Church was the last church she established in Taiwan. I was fortunate enough to have the opportunity to follow her for several years and I learned greatly from her. She wrote a book, Go Home and Tell, that has many wonderful testimonies.

The pioneer work was full of difficulties and obstacles. Huaining Street was a commercial area. There were many shops, but very few houses. Every weekend, Miss Smith would take me to pass out Gospel tracts on the sidewalks. Sometimes, she would also ask Christian sisters from the JenAi and Xiamen churches to come with me on home visits to gain some experience.

I once went on a home visit by myself. After I knocked on the door, the lady who opened the door told me to wait outside because she was bathing her child. I waited for about twenty minutes for her to finish and she finally let me in. When I started to tell her about the Gospel, she was busy with something else and she wouldn’t pay attention to what I said. I left feeling humiliated and disappointed with tears in my eyes. I thought of the days when I had worked at ECA. I was paid very well and paid overtime, too. And now my time seemed worthless to these people I visited. I would have never dedicated myself to Christian work if it wasn’t for the love of the Lord and all He had done for me. As I handed out Gospel tracts on the sidewalk, I would instinctively lower my head when I saw old friends pass by in their chauffeured cars. Whether they were graduates from SWAU, Tsinghua, Beijing, or Nankai, they all held important positions in society. I was too embarrassed to let them see me like this. My spiritual life was still very young and weak.

Initially, the church meetings were held in the evenings. Pastor Peixing preached at the meetings, Miss Smith played the organ and I was responsible for inviting and greeting newcomers. We would feel very lucky if we had three or four people coming for the meeting. The meetings started at 7:30 p.m. and all three of us would kneel to pray at 7 p.m. We asked God to urge people to come to the meeting.

Mrs. Shenghua Yen Li lived close to the church. I had visited her before and learned she suffered greatly emotionally. She had two very young daughters and her husband was an alcoholic. He would curse, beat up his wife and kids, and refuse to take a good job. Mrs. Li was good at cooking and she made a living by preparing lunch boxes for the working people in order to support her family. I preached the Gospel to her and led her in becoming a Christian. She was very devoted and attended every church service or meeting and was a great encouragement to us. Later, we began to pray together for her husband to stop drinking. Soon, her husband began to come to the meetings, and Miss Smith led him to Christ. After that, he quit drinking and found a good job in the Realty Bank of Taipei. Mr. Li could now support his family with his income so Mrs. Li didn’t have to work anymore. Harmony came into their relationship and life became peaceful without any quarreling. The couple was very active in the church work and the whole family accepted Jesus as their Lord. Later, they had another child, a boy, who they prayed for and this was the first fruit of the new church.

More and more people began to come to the church meetings. After every meeting, Miss Smith would call forward the people who were seeking the true meaning of life and the knowledge of God and she would pray with them. Individually, she would talk to them about the Gospel and answer their questions. When they were willing to accept the blessings from the Lord, she would kneel down and pray with them to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. I would always kneel besides them and pray. I witnessed in person how Miss Smith led people, step by step, to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. It was a learning experience which proved to be invaluable throughout my life.

Soon, the church held its first baptism ceremony and was formally founded. My eldest son, DaChung, my eldest daughter, ChihMei, brother Cuiha Li, and sister Shenghua YenLi among others, participated in the ceremony and the church gradually took form. There were more fellow church workers. I was an intern in the Huaining Street Baptist Church all through my four years of study in the seminary and the church later changed its name to the Taipei Huaining Baptist Church. After I graduated from the seminary, Miss Smith had already retired and gone back to the U.S. I was hired as a female mission worker to continue the work at Huaining. Before Miss Smith went back to the U.S., both my husband, Yungkuei, and my youngest son, HsingChung (Peter), were baptized to become followers of the Lord. The best blessing God gave me was the whole family became Christians. HsingChung’s wife, Qiongbo Luo, was also a member of the church which was a double blessing. I had a personal experience of the sweetness in serving the Lord.

While serving at Huaining, I started to practice preaching. Sometimes, Miss Smith would ask me to preach at the evening worship services. Although, there weren’t many people attending the services, I was very passionate about the word of God and many were very much moved. Gradually, I was invited to preach at many home worship meetings. I was also one of the speakers at the annual retreat meetings for the Women’s Christian Association. Sometimes, the other Baptist churches at Taichung, Tainan, Huwei, Gangshan, and so forth, would ask me to go and preach at their revival and evangelical meetings. Gradually, my work was to preach on the platform.

Pastor Pablo Lin and his wife answered the call of God and He accepted the job as the pastor of the Chinese Baptist Church in Caoliandong, Fushan, Korea. The mission work in Korea was very hard and we constantly prayed for them. During one summer, I was invited to lead their camp meeting at one of their retreats. While in Korea, Pastor Lin took me to visit each Chinese family and to hand out Gospel tracts. In the process, I witnessed many miracles. Mr. Liang was a Chinese immigrant and was seriously ill and his wife invited an occult witch to pray for his illness to be cured. Instead, his illness grew worse. Pastor Lin and his wife came with me to visit his home. I gave my testimony and we prayed together for his recovery. After the summer camp was over, I went back to Seoul and learned that Mr. Liang was fully recovered. Another Chinese immigrant, Mr. Wang, was seriously ill; both his esophagus and his urinary tract were blocked and he was severely constipated. The hospital had refused to take him in as a patient because they believed he was a hopeless case. He accepted the Lord from Pastor Lin’s preaching and his illness was completely cured.

I visited Korea three times. The second time was when Pastor Lin and his wife went to the U.S. Pastor Jingen Zeng and his wife succeeded in their place and I was invited to speak at their revival meetings. I saw a lot of people coming to Christ on those occasions. The majority of these were young people. The third time was when I participated in the special prayer meeting hosted by Pastor Youngji Zhao. I also went to the prayer mountain and participated in the overnight prayer meeting, which had a total of more than ten thousand people there. There were several services each Sunday and every service was a full house. The church was very spiritually alive. However, I don’t quite agree with some of the statements in Pastor Zhao’s book, The Fourth Dimension.

During this period, I was invited to participate in the Congress on World Evangelization (ICWE) meeting in Lausanne, Switzerland. It was hosted by the Billy Graham Evangelical Association. This was a huge surprise, for I was the only Baptist Church Christian worker invited from Taiwan. I had expected other Baptist church workers who were senior and more spiritually mature to be invited. I think I was especially blessed by God to have the honor of participating in such a great international event. I went with a few other pastors and church workers from Taiwan on this trip, including Elder Wu Yung, and brother Han Wei. We first flew to Hong Kong on a chartered flight to pick up other attendees, then we flew to Switzerland, via India. Lausanne was a very beautiful metropolitan city.

After the meeting, I went to the U.S. to visit my daughter in upstate New York for a short while. Later, I went to South Carolina to visit Miss J. Alderman, a missionary from the U.S. who worked at Huaining for several years. I also had a chance to visit Miss Bertha Smith and preached at the Sunday service of her church. Miss Smith interpreted for me. Miss Martha Franks lived close by and she came to visit me at Miss Smith’s house. Later, she drove me to the Greyhound bus station to send me off to my daughter’s house in upstate New York. I was deeply touched by their love for the Chinese people. Miss Smith did a lot of the Lord’s work after she retired in the U.S and rested in the Lord’s arms at the age of 99. Miss Franks had the same enthusiastic services to God years after her retirement.

After my return from the U.S., I left the Taipei Huaining Baptist Church under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I started a new mission work in the area of MeiRenLi, also in Taipei, and later served God at the new MeiRenLi Baptist Church.

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